Three fingers too many

It has been so long since i have written anything i sincerely doubt that anyone is still reading this. Which i really quite like. It has a nice public but yet safe feel about it.

Its 5.21 in the morning and i'm still awake. Which means it is lunch time back home. Which is odd, though i have stoppd thinking about it. I am drunk, i was going to go to bed at eleven but i have ended up drinking a whole bunch of whisky by myself and thinking. If i was in edinburgh i would be up Arthurs Seat watching sunrise. But i'm not. I'm here. In a land where i have lots of friends but no-one that actually cares. I need people to talk to, people i know and trust. But i threw all that away because i needed an adventure. I have thrown alot away in the last two and a half years for exactly that reason. I am out here alone because i so desperately didnt want to be ordinary. And here i am, wishing i had a smoke and pondering opening the next bottle of whisky. Are you proud of me mum and dad?

I love boat school (if you dont know what boat school is stop reading) it is wonderful and joyous and a chance to have a life i enjoy. From here i am continuing onwards, 9 months here, 3 in the caribbean, 3-12 across the pacific, 12 in new zealand. I wont see home for two and half years at best. I am terrified. I was about to write that i am worried that i have made the wrong choice. But i havn't. I have done the right thing with my life. But i miss you all.

Everyone i knew back home, i miss you. I may not say this tomorrow as i will be sober, but tonight, this morning. I miss you.

Sorry just three fingers of whisky too many

/ramble/